Technologically challenged

My name is Gwendolyn and I am technologically challenged.

I come by it honestly – my mother before me was also disabled in this area. Of course my parents got all the great gadgets when I left home like central heat/air, a microwave, and a VCR. One visit as we were trying to watch a movie, the picture kept messing up, so we took it out.

“Mom, you need to clean the VCR,” I told her as she passed through the room.

“What?”

“You’ve got to clean it with a head cleaner in there,” I pointed where the tape is inserted.

She left the room, but then returned shortly with the vacuum cleaner. She plugged it in, got out the hose attachment, turned it on, and proceeded to vacuum inside the tape compartment, hitting the sides and back repeatedly.

“Mom, WHAT are you doing!” I yelled over the deafening sound.

“Just cleaning the VCR.”

I knew it was pointless to say anything.

I thought I was SO smart, but my turn was coming. I forget why it was, but I had to send a fax. Since I was a public school teacher then in the 90’s, I headed for the library which had the only machine at the time.

I told the librarian that I need to send the fax and handed her the sheet of paper. She lifted the lid of the copier, pushed a few buttons, and I could see the beam of light as it passed under the lid.

“There you go,” she said as she lifted the lid.

“But it’s still there!” I said with astonishment when I saw the paper.

She was kind enough not to say anything as I slowly realized that a fax machine was not a Star Trek-like teleportation device. In case you didn’t know, that hasn’t been invented yet. But when it is, I am going to try really hard not to act surprised.

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