There are really natural ways to be stupid and brain-damaged. I’ve found a great one. If that sounds either appealing or appalling, read on. It all has to do with what marijuana, mad hatters, and CFL lightbulbs have in common.
Marijuana is touted as a natural high or medically necessary to some, but there is surprisingly little that is known about its long-term effects. It is known that it doesn’t seem to cause lung cancer, which feels like the worst case scenario of smoking anything. Isn’t that why cigarette smoking has been so vilified? You’re practically a felon or social outcast if you light one up.
A joint, however, almost seems to rank up there with recycling or using CFL light bulbs as just a harmless, eco-friendly high. But wait! There’s a boatload of nasty chemicals that are “naturally occurring” in that little doobie. You may not get lung cancer, but that high might make you a real-life “Mad Hatter.”
In the 19th century, hatters stiffened the bands of the hats they made by dipping them into mercury. Mercury is a deadly neurotoxin, but they didn’t know that. Long-term exposure is now believed by many to have caused hatters to have a reputation for mood-swings, anti-social behavior, and aggressiveness.
Most of the marijuana that comes into this country comes from Mexico. It grows extremely well in volcanic soil, which coincidentally is rich in mercury. Who knew? Mercury is in marijuana.
And if you light up under a CFL lightbulb, you might say a prayer for the miners and factory workers in China who are being sickened every day mining for and participating in the manufacturing of those light bulbs, but at least my house is more energy-efficient! I’ll just try not to break my leg as I stumble under the dim haze of low CFL light in my house. God forbid I should knock the lamp over and break the bulb, requiring a Haz Mat team to detox my room. I could just smoke some joints, let out all that mercury-induced aggressiveness on some light bulbs, and just make my house a new “Three Mile Island” quarantine zone.